Trippy? Very Scary for Children

I have seen this going around on the internet

artificial intelligence dreams

It is absolutely fascinating.  I used to have visions like this as a child.  Dreams like this too.  Miss Piggy turning into a mandala (didnt know what that was when I was 7 years old), and spinning around.  Not in deep sleep, in the middle of the day.

At night, dreams of being chased in a tunnel with a strange grey textile design, that would turn into strawberry prints, florals, paisleys (didn’t know what paisley was either) and ending up at a carousel ice cream parlor where my sister will eat strawberry shortcake (before those insipid dolls came out) and I had none.  Textile prints everywhere (yes it was the 70’s but i had two shirts and one pants and my parents wore grey and navy).

Bugs crawling by the light switch and then turning into pink meca bugs.  (Before I ever saw “Le Chien Andalou” and before Hex Bug Robots existed)

My brain didn’t form like those in safe environments.  Yes everyone’s family is dysfunctional, and no one has a perfect childhood.  But some of us grow up like this.  This may be why I make art that succeeds.  I can visualize absurd work and manifest it into a finished product that is well received.

I am so tired of the arts scene when people think that if someone is an artist that it is because they were encouraged/financial help from family till they “make it”/good schools with connections/good connections.  I don’t have connections I can talk about art and issues outside of me but I cant talk about everyday things because I don’t have everyday life.  I walk away from people when they talk about playing on the streets or backyards as children; I wasn’t allowed to play with peers because I was going to be successful and work for my parents to make up for being born; and messing up their “artist life” (drunk bohemian life).  Going “home” for holidays? …..Cant.   Talk about siblings, relatives? Can’t.  Good school?…. Please refer to my 1/22/15 post “Why didn’t I better my life?” about how I lost a financial aid package due to my parents’ selfishness and illegal activity.

Just because a person has courage and tries very hard not to be solemn and nasty doesn’t they mean that they didn;t have an excruciatingly painful past, so painful that the wiring in their head started going strange in their childhood.


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