I was wrong

I thought I was healed and needed to find work and get off of disability.  I have no therapist nor doctor as they thought it was a good idea to go back to the streets because supportive housing is too corrupt.  I decided to leave the place where I was inhaling K-2 and Crystal Meth.  The workers said that they never saw my roommate smoking it so it did not happen.  They were racist and told me to stop saying these things, the roommate is a crack addict in recovery and trying so hard  dont push her to relapse.

I spent November of 2014 til March 2015 sleeping 1 or 2 hours each morning.  I spent January 2014 until late May 2015 with rashes that kept me awake at night.

I left that place, tried to catch up on sleep went to the countryside where I got a scholarship to an environmental course.  I wanted to take this class for years and I was so fortunate to get this financial aide.  A previous yoga student of mine gave me an excellent recommendation,; he is an environmental landscaper and architect.  In the country it came out that i was so different.

I came back  to the city and got a sublet for a month because I was invited to a commission and to teach a workshop in an arts organization.  I went to the environmental class in July without a place to go back to because I anticipated making connections to work on a farm or an animal sanctuary.  During the class I received an invitation to go to another state ro teach in August, and the next day I was invited to a site specific commision in the city I am in now the one I never left.  I hadd enough money to pay rent for this time.  I taught and my classes were well received.  I created the site work and it was well received.  I got paid more than I ever did for creating work.

Now I am lonely adnd alienated.  With each  success I am more alienated.  I am also still without a permanent home, and still not strong enough to go back to the work force.  In the country I had some incidents with classmates and realized that I am still not recovered from the oppressionj that started when I was 2 years old.  No I was not trained in sex work and beaten up every day until now but all the physical, mental, and economic abuses I have endured is still taking a toll on me.  I am still trying to catch up on the sleep I lost between November and May.  1 or 2 hours of sleep per night for seven months.  I also inhaled second hand drugs.  My memory is not back.  I am sad and lonely.


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