On public transportation. I started crying. not only that he grabbed my breast and it hurt. He said “you ——racial slur—-s are too close”. This was on a packed unit during commuting hours. I started crying. A woman in front of me asked why I was crying. I said that I was groped by this man and pointed. She started laughing. Then the place looked different to me and time slowed down. I said that it hurt. the man said that I was standing too close (Everyone was touching the person nest to them). I started saying that I was raised like a whore and ran away, sobbing. The people around me were roaring with laughter. One man near me was laughing and had a glint in his eye. The man who harassed me kept cursing me out, spit was flying in mine and people around’s faces. The man who harrassed me told me something I didn’t understand. I said I don’t know what he was saying. He told me to learn that foreign language. I said that I didn’t know why i fucking should. He kept listing ethnicitys and asked if I was them. More laughing. this is from one stop to the next . It felt long. the light seemed to be much brighter. People’s skin and hair looked and smelled high definition. He asked me if I was a doctor. I said that I am homeless. ( I have a place to sleep at night but it is not a home). The man who harassed me said that he is homeless too.
I was texting my friend then spoke on the phone. I may just get the hell out of this city and stay with him and his parents. Its a 2.5 hour flight away. Or I may try to move to a city 2 hours away by bus …… My other friend told me that it is a good idea. This city is turning into a place full of one percent rich people and homeless people who cannot afford to have a roof over their head.. And a bunch of people in peon jobs who think its funny that children are beaten into submission and taught sexual acts to be sold into prostitution.
I am going to shoot emails to contacts in the closer by city tomorrow and see if there are any low cost rooms to rent. If not, I will start to get ready to make the big move, 8 hours by train or 2 hours by plane. I cannot stand it here anymore