After Flashback Friday

SInce my last post, I have been having a tumultuous learning experience here.  I will be here until the 3rd week of nest month.

I just saw this.  A few minutes in, an account of people urinating on others

I was taught that people urinate on others when there is hate.  My father hated me.  So did my mother.  But back to my father; You don’t beat and urinate somebody you love.  Back to my last post.  I must have hated my boyfriend at that time because I hated myself.  I think I was pretending to be okay about him not coming home and spending his earnings so I had to pay his share of the rent.  I think I pretended to start making love to him before I urinated on him. I think he beat me that night.  I have fuzzy memory.  I just remember that I urinated  on him because he reminded me for years.

I think I have posted this before.

Please do not tell an abuse victim that their parents love them.  My self esteem, view of the world, motivations for my actions, view of other people, substance abuse, cruelty to couples and others in my teen and early 20’s were influenced with the mixed messages I was getting when I was being lied to, manipulated, and sexually, physically, and mentally abused daily (including abuse with food, fetish, education, and the way I had to dress)

I hope this is not often, but some parents hate their children, because they are not capable of love or compassion.




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